Staying in the Present Moment

One of the most challenging aspects of fear is that it can often twist your perspective so dramatically that you can‘t keep a balanced view of the situation that triggered your fear. Your fear response is usually deeply connected to your limiting beliefs, which creates a sort of ―filter‖ through which you will see most of your life experiences. This filter will assign meaning to everything that happens to you, even where no such meaning really exists.

Here‘s an example: Imagine that you recently applied for a promotion at work, and part of the application process involved writing and submitting a detailed report to your boss. Several days after you submitted your report, your boss approached you with a serious expression on his face and asked to speak privately with you at the end of the day.

What would your first reaction be? Would your boss‘s stern expression trigger feelings of fear and anxiety? Would you jump to the conclusion that he must not have liked your report? Or would you consider unrelated possibilities, like the may be deep in thought or concerned about an unrelated situation? Would you remain optimistic that your report was high quality and you still stand a great chance at getting the promotion? Your underlying beliefs will make all the difference in whether you feel fear or confidence in this type of situation. If you have a strong belief that you are not ―good enough‖ (or the quality of your work is lacking somehow), you will naturally jump to negative conclusions. If you feel confident about yourself and your work, you will probably not feel worried.

When you feel that your beliefs may be creating fearful emotions as in the example above, there is a simple technique you can use to diffuse them and center yourself again. In the first moment when you notice your fear and anxiety beginning to rise, stop what you‘re doing and take a few minutes to tune into your bodily sensations. Notice that your shoulder muscles may start to feel tense, your breathing may become rapid and shallow, your heart rate may speed up, and so on.

Begin first tuning into these feelings, and acknowledging that they are happening. You can even say to yourself, “I can feel my shoulders getting tight and tense. My hands are getting clammy. I‟m really feeling nervous right now.” 

Then, start deliberately calming these reactions by breathing slowly and deeply, relaxing your muscles and mentally staying in the present moment. 

Resist the temptation to let your thoughts race ahead and worry about what may happen, what it might ―mean‖ for you. All of those are merely perceptions – not necessarily what‘s really happening.

Stay in the present moment for as long as it takes to feel calm again. If you simply avoid letting your thoughts race ahead to frightening scenarios your fear should fade easily.